This coat I wear knows me well,
It has been with me a long time,
It knows how to comfort me,
Especially when no-one loves me.

This coat I wear is for everyone to see,
It laughs and smiles,
It’s friendly and welcoming,
But this coat always cries on the inside.

This coat I wear is called shame and guilt,
It hides the hurt and pain,
It hides the abuse, hate and control,
My soul hides within the dark, quiet places.

This coat I wear is the un-me,
It has grown legs and feet,
It has become some-one else,
I don’t know who I am anymore.

This coat I wear is smothering me,
It is killing the life I want,
It does not trust anyone,
I am afraid to take the coat off.

This coat I wear is my armour,
It is not shiny or pretty,
But it loves me,
So I love it back.

My coat and I …

Today, Christmas has lost most of its Christian message, as attested to by other religions observing it a day of importance. So let’s take a step back to also consider another meaning. What if it was a time to remember or be with those we love or cherish as friends and that our greatest gift we can give them, is to share our precious time. Our personal time is probably our most valuable asset in the 21 century as we have become extremely time poor due to our busy lives, demands of employment and/or other completing demands. Consider this: Is posting a Christmas card to a relative more important than giving them a quick call to say hi? Is it better to spend a whole day playing with your children at a park or beach with a picnic then to give them a toy to play with while you stress about how to pay the next power bill? Is it better to share a lunch with your friends so you can all talk and laugh with each other than to worry and stress about how you will feed the party of 20 you are expecting for lunch?
I returned home to be with my gorgeous sons for three weeks which also included Christmas. I absolutely loved being with them and their friends, being included and sharing in their activities and fun. I loved just sharing my time with them, as they shared their time with me. I also absolutely adored having coffee, lunch and dinner with my beautiful friends who also took time out of their busy schedules to be with me. (Sadly though, I did not get to share my time with other friends and family, as time went all too quickly.) However to me, sharing and actually being with someone because you love them, is the true essence or spirit of Christmas.
Now is the time to consider how you will treat Christmas 2011: consumerism or love? Its your choice!

I love me sons with my life; they are not the reason I left home. I left because I needed to know who I was; I needed the space to develop my own personal identity. I needed to walk away from the familiar, loosen the ties that bound, erase the memories that wept and emerge from the security of being invisible. For the last 17 years as a single mum I  devoted my essence and being towards developing my boys to be good, social, community adults (which they are and I’m very proud of the young men they have become). I went to university to secure employment so I could send them to one of the best private schools in the country. They didn’t have everything they wanted, but they did have everything they needed plus a bit extra; while I always had the burnt chop. I, myself had multiple identities; a mum, their mates second mum, a friend, an employee, self employed social worker, a neighbour, etc, but to ask if the real Ros could please stand up – she was no-where to be found. So who was I? That’s what I wanted to find on a journey of self discovery. And no – it was not a mid-life crisis – it was just about me; it was my time for me.

So the difference is that I’m now a minimalist – no abundance of electronic equipment (insert TV and mini hi-fi), I have white furniture without the fear of dirty feet/clothing, spilt food/drink, I eat what I want and when I want, I can listen to my own music without it being drowned out by the doof doof coming from the next room and, I can come and go as I please; I fill my weekends up with what I want to do; I write, read, listen to music and play on my laptop; I sometimes go to archery, sometimes I walk along the beach, sometimes I go out for lunch, sometimes I meet friends and sometimes I travel around the surrounds discovering this great country of ours. Do you see what’s emerging here – most of these things I have learnt from my boys – Gen Y have got it so right!! Am I happy? Yes I am, but I also get sad – I miss my boys with all my heart – but not enough to live with them again – short visits are great – lol.

So is running away worth it? If you want to find the real you – yes it is. If you want things to change, remember you are the only one that can do that – you can’t change other people or situations to fit you – nor should you try, because it will always end badly. To make positive change, you must change your thinking, your perspective and your attitude. It’s about being honest with yourself and having a desire to discover who you really are, by determine your own capabilities, broadening your outlook and, occasionally take a back seat into your own life and if you don’t like what you see, create change. But most of all, don’t be afraid to dream or to have hope, and learn to live and love unconditionally by doing no harm and understanding that no-one’s perfect, especially you. So run away if you must, but without sincere contemplation and a desire for true change, you will only ever be changing locations, because you will always, always take yourself with you.

Leave a comment if you have ever run away and if this worked out for you.

SPIRITUAL HEALING is energetic healing. Your own guides work with me to channel healing energy through the body and release any blocked memories or emotions that may be interfering with your personal growth. I am a certified REIKI practitioner and I also use HIGHER SELF HEALING (accessing your own Higher Self). I usually recommend 3 sessions, at least, if you are working on a particular emotional issue.
PSYCHIC READINGS are another excellent form of healing. It can bring clarity to a situation by allowing your thoughts to be expressed and sorted through. I use TAROT CARDS, CRYSTALS, TEA LEAF READINGS, PSYCHOMETRY and many more modalities to help you along your way. My readings focus on your current situation however they can sometimes show you a possible future outcome if this is what is required.
I began my own spiritual journey in 1993 when I was at a crossroads in my life. Teachers turned up in many forms….friend, lovers, acquaintances…even enemies. All these teachers had one thing in common, all were working with light energy in some form or another. Through my experiences my own gift began to emerge and my personal growth accelerated.
I live and work in Hervey Bay, Queensland. All my work is totally spiritually guided. I will only work with your Higher Self guides for the best possible outcome.
For consultations you can call me on MOB 0421 649 841 or email me at frangipani_dreaming@live.com.au.
Email and phone readings are available if required.

Being a tourist in Vanuatu is a privilege and experiencing their unique land is awe-inspiring, a pleasure and an honour. Although my experience was absolutely wonderful and I will return and continue my love affair with this amazing country, there were some aspects from my recent trip that have left me totally bewildered and embarrassed. The worse part of my trip was not what was already there – but rather, what was imported: Australian and New Zealand tourists! They would have to be the rudest, most condescending and loudest peasants I had the displeasure of listening too.

The hotel where I was staying had a visiting football team of young people (and I won’t mention they were from Newcastle), who aside from having too much alcohol and having a wonderful time, smashed up hotel rooms, embarrassed staff and disrupted other guests (where or where were their minders?). On a bus trip one couple loudly and consistently congratulated the driver for being able to negotiate the steep winding roads – oh please – these people drive on these roads every day! Imagine if they congratulated you every 5minutes for being able to drive across the Nullarbor; I’m sure you’d like to tell them to put a sock in it! At a restaurant, a group of ‘mature people’ were loudly complaining about the state of their hotel rooms, the roads, the food – you name it and all this in front of the local people. If you want a 5 star hotel with food prepared by internationally acclaimed chefs and the streets are paved with shining concrete – go to the Gold Coast! So a word to those ignorant people who think that because they have paid to visit a place gives them the right to xenophobic – just remember you are a visitor in their country and remeber a little thing called respect.

Visiting another country is like signing up to be an explorer and a student; you set out to discover a new land. Look around you – consider if there are hills or mountains rise dramatically to meet the sky or do they undulate into the distance; are rivers hedged by willowy trees, yellow, swaying grasses or rock, cradled gullies, then, do they speed off into the distance or do they meander their way slowly past you?; are the beaches expansive with fine white sand and crashing waves, do you see the fine mist spraying upwards?; or is the beach slightly curved nestled between lichen covered rocks or tropic jungles with swaying palms, does the beach have pebbles or sand?; is the land itself covered by ancient forests, fields of swaying grains, or villages of grey, monastic medieval stone, modern boxes or traditional communities? There is always something to hold you in awe, should you chose to open your eyes. So what do we learn; as the explorer student we learn what there is that drew us to this place in the first instance; is it the intrigue of history, legend or myth?; is it the traditions, customs and heritage?; is it the lifestyle, the curiosity or the need to touch base with family origins? Every visitor to another country travels their own journey of discovery, you take from it what you chose to see and learn – if you chose to do neither then you will always, always leave empty handed. Vanuatu is a great place in which to explore and learn.

I have found that the Ni-Vanuatu are extremely gracious. I had the absolute pleasure of meeting a gorgeous lady by the name of Jenny who took me to see a modern traditional village (as opposed to a cultural show village) and invited me home for dinner to meet her three gorgeous children and her husband. Thank you, Jenny. I left Vanuatu knowing I was very privileged to have discovered and learnt from a land rich in culture and tradition. Viva Vanuatu.